What do you do all day?

Being a stay-at-home mom I’m often asked “what do you do all day?” Sometimes it’s asked harmlessly, and other times it’s asked as if the person thinks I just lay around and watch tv all day. It actually makes me laugh when someone asks that. Some of the time I want to make up something ridiculous just to see what they say in response. 😂

But truthfully my days are never “relaxing.” I don’t get much downtime. Once Ryder started walking, any free minute I had was taken up by chasing him around and cleaning. This kid can destroy a room in under 2 minutes. Yet it takes me at least 10-15 minutes to put the room back together. 🤦🏼‍♀️

His favorite thing to do is take things out of drawers and move them other places. Yesterday he emptied out two clothing drawers and put everything in the bathtub. While I was folding the clothes and putting them away, he was in his room taking diapers out of their bin and throwing them in the kitchen. Once that was complete he found the two kitchen drawers that aren’t baby proofed and emptied them of everything (don’t worry it’s just things like chip clips in that drawer).

The cleanup is never ending. I can’t get mad at ryder because he’s not doing it to be “mean.” He doesn’t know better. He just thinks it’s fun to empty drawers and boxes. We are working on explaining why we don’t take everything out of drawers. But each time he just looks at me like “ok mom are you done, I see another drawer to empty.” 😂

In addition to the daily pick up game, I have food to make, a house to clean, laundry to do, errands to run, etc. It’s never ending. But I’m not complaining. I do love it. 💙

So when someone asks me what I do all day, rather than give the long version, I just say they I chase Ryder around all day. That pretty much sums it up. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Will you go back?

I would say at least once a week someone asks me if I miss teaching and coaching. My answer isn’t a yes but it’s also not a no. It’s a sort of…..

I loved being in the classroom. Every day was different. I had 180 students with different back grounds, different stories and different beliefs. I enjoyed what I did, most days. I would say 95% of the time I loved teaching. The other 5% I wanted to be anywhere else but in the classroom. I think we all have those days with every job.

Teaching high school isn’t easy. Kids are more opinionated at that age. But I do miss watching students faces when they learned something new. Some with excitement and some with confusion as if what they thought previously was completely wrong.

I have my days where I miss coaching and then those that I don’t. Being a private coach hired in by the school is way different than being a teacher in the school hired as a sponsor/coach as well. The level of respect is different too. When I coached as a private coach with no affiliation to the school, I had limited parent contact. I communicated with the kids and the sponsor and rarely parents. The sponsor was my middle man. It helped keep me out of any drama and left me to just do my job coaching. I also felt the parents respected me more. When I came into contact with them, they treated me like I was the professional and knew what I was doing. It was different when I was a teacher hired in as a coach. Despite my background as a Big12 cheerleader, Semi pro cheerleader, and Worlds Judge, some parents acted as if so had no idea what I was doing. They would constantly tell me how to do my job or attack me if they felt I was doing something wrong. I was excessively dragged into parent drama. You think teenage girls can cause drama?? You have yet to see a group of middle ages cheer moms! It made my job more difficult and more stressful.

Would I ever go back to coaching? Well….If I ever went back to coaching it would be as a private coach, not a teacher/coach. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I described at every school. And I did have some pretty amazing cheer moms who trusted me to do my job and fully supported me and the team. But often times those negative moms overshadowed the positive and made my job very hard and very stressful. So ultimately private coaching would be my go to choice if I had to.

Would I ever go back to teaching? Maybe! I think I enjoyed it enough that I would. But not in the near future. I like being a stay at home mom. I like not missing a minute of anything my kids do. 💙

Comparing Yourself To Others

I stumbled across the most amazing words the other day…..”We often lose our way when we compare ourselves to others. We lose our inspiration, motivation, and that ambitious drive. Compare yourself to no one. Not a single person. You are unique and what make you perfectly different is what sets you aside to crush those dreams.” ☁️

We as a society naturally compare ourselves to others. It’s human nature. Especially those of us that are extremely competitive in nature. While comparison can fuel you, it can also burn you. 🔥

You really should only compare you, to yourself. Compare your current self to your past self. Are you where you want to be? Are you meeting your goals? If not, do something about it! Only you can make the improvement in your life. 💙

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The Dreaded Workout

Have you ever dreaded going to workout…..got yourself there…..and come out thinking, yeah that still sucked? 😂 That’s not what you thought I was going to say was it 🤪 But seriously. Some days when I am not feeling the gym, I drag myself there and afterward I’m like oh yeah that was great I’m glad I went. Other days I think to myself, that was horrible and I’m still annoyed I’m not just sitting on my sofa.

We all have our days! Today was one of mine. I just had zero motivation. I finished my workout and still felt no motivation. I would much rather have been in sweatpants sitting on my sofa with a hot bowl of pho.

I’m sure my body is grateful I went to the gym, it’s just not letting me know it yet. The movement helps increase blood flow which reduces my risk of blood clot during pregnancy. It also reduces my leg and foot swelling so I have less aching during the day. There’s so many amazing benefits of workout during pregnancy. So for now I’ll just be grateful I made it through the workout despite my lack of motivation. I know there will come a day, last time it was right at 9 months, when I almost physically can’t workout due to size even though I’ll be dying to.

Friendship

Only the strongest friendships survive life. I say life because it’s not just the ups and downs. It’s everything in between. Finding a good friend is like finding your soul mate. It’s not easy and you go through so much to get there. But when you find that person, it’s like something clicks.

When we were little we were so focused on making lots of friends. I think it’s fantastic for little kids to be nice to everyone and want to be friends with everyone. But as an adult, that’s an unrealistic hope that we can be “friends” with everyone. I hate to say it, but not everyone wants to be your friend. And that’s totally ok! You just need to find those select few people that you click with.

As you age, if you notice your circle of friends getting smaller, don’t be alarmed! As we get older, people change. Our views and beliefs don’t always align and this can cause rifts in relationships. Some people’s ability to accept can make it difficult and put strain on a relationship. Also, people have different life paths. Sometimes friendships dissolve without any actual problems. People just lose touch. It’s normal for life to get in the way.

My best friend and I don’t have the same views on everything. But we respect each other’s view even if it’s not fitting for us personally. We do however have the same values and similar (not the same) goals in life. We are both very supportive of each other in every aspect of life. That is part of what makes our relationship great. Without a strong support system you will find yourself feeling lost and maybe a bit alone.

Find that friend who encourages you and brings positive light to your life. Someone who can laugh with you at the stupid things. Someone who loves you even at your worst. Those are the friendships that will bring you support, strength and happiness. Find someone who makes you a better person.

Redo/undo life

If you could go back and “redo and undo” parts of your life, what would they be?

Me? I would undo some arguments with my parents. Now having a child, I understand a little more. They weren’t being “mean.” They we’re trying to protect me and teach me a lesson. They wanted me to make the right decisions. However, if I’d done what they said and made the “right” decision, would I be the person I am today? Probably not. But I do regret some of the ways I talked to my parents. Yes I know teenagers and young adults have their moments, and it’s expected. But I hate to be “expected.” I think I’d like to keep the arguments but undo my words and tone if I could.

I think for the most part I was a good rule follower growing up. I did my best to do as my parents said. I never liked the feeling of disappointing them. When I disappointed them, I think I was harder on myself than they were on me. I think that’s the gymnast in me. There’s something about gymnasts and toughness. They internalize a lot, are critical of themselves, and are typically harder on themselves than others.

My “undo” would be to undo some friendships. There were some toxic friendships in my life I probably could have done without. Although, if I hadn’t had those friendships, would I be the person I am today? Probably not. I learned a lot about me, about other people, about life and how you should treat a friend.

So ultimately maybe nothing should be undone. But again, I wish I could redo the tone and wording of some conversations. Lesson learned though in the end.

What would you redo and undo if you could? Could you find things that you could absolutely redo/undo or are you like me and know you probably needed the lesson that came with the choices originally?

Everyone has an opinion

Everyone has an opinion and everyone wants to give you advice when you have a child. Some people’s advice can be helpful and others can be confusing and strange. I personally try not to listen too much when people give me their unsolicited advice. I don’t do it because I’m trying to be rude, it’s just that I’m someone who would rather find their own way. I like to figure things out on my own. I learn better that way.

Not everything that works for one child will work the same for all. Every child is different. When I first had Ryder I took a few peoples advice and tried what they recommended. It didn’t workout well. It either upset him more or just did let have a affect. That’s when I made my decision to just ignore the advice of others and find my own way as I went. There were a few people I listened to, like my doctor and my mother, but I tried to filter out all the other random advice.

I still laugh when I remember being at an event and someone asked me if Ryder was crawling yet. I told them that he skipped crawling and went right from army crawling to cruising. She got a look or horror on her face and said “oh my gosh he’s going to be behind developmentally. You need to get him to crawl.” I have no idea what look was on my face when she said that. But I replied by telling her my doctor said crawling is no longer considered a milestone because so many kids skip over it. Her reply was “I guess times have changed.” Lord! Imagine if my doctor hadn’t told me that. I might have panicked and thought something was wrong with my child! This is exactly why you need to take peoples comments and advice with a grain of salt.

When someone gives you advice or makes a comment about what your child should be doing at a certain stage, take it as you want (unless it’s your doctor). Use it or just forget about it. It’s your child and you are free to raise them as you please. You’re their momma (or daddy) and your instincts will tell you what you should do. Go with what YOU think is best. It’s all a learning process and no one is perfect!