Coaching…..

I was reading an article the other day about a coach who got reprimanded for the way they treated an athlete. It’s crazy to me thinking about how far we have come. When I was younger, coaches could pretty much say and do whatever they wanted and little to no one called them out or reported them. So much went unsaid that should have been brought to others attention for the safety of the athlete/s. 🙌🏻

I had one coach who expected perfection every time we walked into the gym. If you weren’t perfectly tight while performing a skill you could expect to get slapped. And it was a hard slap. Normally it left a red mark where you got hit and sometimes a bruise. She typically hit in the arm or leg but on the occasion you could expect her to pop you under the chin.

When doing a beam routine if she didn’t like what she was seeing she would actually walk up to you mid skill and shove you off the beam. You could be upside down, in the middle of a turn, etc, it didn’t matter. She would shove you right off. We had to be alert at all times in case she did this. If we weren’t paying attention and she pushed us, we ran the risk of falling on to another beam that was close to the one we were on, rolling ankle when hitting the floor or landing some other way that could cause injury. 🤸‍♂️

Another coach would hit us upside the head if he felt we weren’t focused. As if hitting someone in the head is going to make them focus! Sometimes if he hit you just right you would see stars for a few seconds.

If he didn’t think our flexibility was where it needed to be, he would make us get into the splits, prop our front leg on a raised mat and sit on us forcing our legs to the ground while one was inclined. It was painful and dangerous. You run the risk of tearing a muscle or ligament doing this to an athlete. When working flexibility you should always ease an athlete into things.

I’ve had people ask me why I didn’t tell my parents this was going on. What was there to tell?? At the time I thought this was normal. I thought this was how coaches made their athletes better. I thought this is how everyone was coached. I didn’t know any different at the time!

Having been a coach for over 15 years now myself, I realize this is NOT a healthy or safe way to coach an athlete. It’s actually considered abusive. It’s not an extreme form but it definitely falls into that category.

While I think a lot of people are too overly sensitive about coaching styles, I do think there are some old school coaching “techniques” that need to be done away with. For example, you don’t need to “lay a hand” on an athlete to push them to be better. Nor should you have to verbally attack an athlete to “light a fire” under them. If you want to push an athlete, encourage them and work with them. An athlete should never fear their coach and you shouldn’t try to make an athlete fear you to respect you. If you want respect from your athlete, earn it. Same as you’d expect of them!👍🏻

Food battle

I’m not kidding you when I say the only actual “meal” I eat during the day is dinner. I literally have no free hands to make myself a meal during the day. It’s a battle just to cook dinner at night. If it weren’t for my youngest taking an evening nap, giving me time to cook, we would probably be eating takeout every night. 🥠

With my first child I was able to make myself breakfast, lunch, etc. I only had him to worry about. Throw a second child into the mix and a “real meal” is almost non existent. 🍽

One child is crying wanting to be held, the oldest is pulling at my leg, the dog just pooped on the carpet, someone is knocking on the door……literally that is how my day goes. And it always seems to happen all at once, the minute I decide to get something to eat. So grabbing a granola bar or a protein bar is the best I can do 99% of the time.🍫

I’m doing my best to make sure I get enough calories in each day. But sometimes it’s hard. There’s only so many granola bars you can eat before you just don’t want to eat. And yes I keep easy to grab items in my fridge like fruit, carrots, etc. But not all of that transports easily from room to room. I’m not kidding when I say the minute I try to get myself something to eat someone needs a diaper change, the dog poops on the carpet, a child is climbing up on something he could hurt himself on, etc. 🍎

I’m not complaining by any means. I know this stage will be short lived (I hope). But it does sort of suck at times. I literally look forward to the weekend when we go to our golf club for lunch and someone cooks a meal for me. Then for dinner we get takeout and again food is cooked for me.

Life with two young kids

Life with two young kids….. 👶🏻 👶🏻

Yesterday the day started with one kid peeing ON my pillow. I’m still debating on whether to put it in the wash and bleach it or call it a loss and just throw it away. 🛌

It was then followed by Ryder taking off his shorts and diaper and running naked through the house. He was kind enough to take me by the hand and show me where he peed on the floor during his streaking episode. 🚽

Ryder’s new thing is sticking his hands down his pants…..we knew the day would come as it does with every little boy. However, we have started with the back side of our pants. It took all my energy not to fall over laughing when ryder stuck his hands down into his diaper, only to remember he had just pooped. He pulled his hands out and they were covered with poop. It was HILARIOUS to see the look on his face. Then I realized I had to clean him up. It stopped being funny…… 🧼

That afternoon Ryder decided he wanted to have a party while I was changing Camden’s diaper. He went into the pantry and took out the paper plates and flung them all over the kitchen. He then took out the remaining plastic wine glasses from a previous party and lined them up on the floor. He filled those glasses with animal crackers from his snack bowl. The dog decided to join the party and ate some of the animal crackers. He also took out any boxed food item and stacked them as high as he could. 🐶

During another of Camden’s diaper changes, Ryder thought it would be funny to go in the closet, shut the door and sit quietly giving mommy a heart attack as she ran around the house panicked trying to find him. 🚪

Dinner consisted of 75% of the meal ending up in Ryder’s lap or on the floor. (We are still trying to master our silverware skills.) So of course right before bed he was starving and asking for more food. Guess what I gave him……the remaining animal crackers in the plastic cups! 😂

Would I say this was a bad day? No. It was definitely a battle of a day but not our worst! We are all in one piece still. So I’d say it was just one of our more “busy” days. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Photos when you’re gone

I saw the best quote the other day. It reminded me a bit of my mom.

“One day, all your children will have is pictures of you. Make sure you’re in them. No matter what your hair looks like, your makeup, or your body. They won’t care about any of that. They will just want to see you.”

Looking back through photo albums I don’t have many pictures of me with my mom or even of just my mom. She is one of those people who is incredible critical of herself. So she wouldn’t be in pictures or let anyone take one of her if she didn’t feel she looks her best.

I’ve had days like that where I didn’t want my picture taken because I felt I looked like crap. But lately I’ve made a conscious effort to take pictures of me with my boys. I have days where I go a week without washing my hair, I have no makeup on and my shirt is stained with god know what one of them got on me. But I still join in on the picture. I don’t want them going back through photos and not having many or any of me. I want them to be able to look back at picture and remember me and the days we had together when I’m gone. 💙

I sneakily take a lot of pictures of my mom with my boys. 95% of them she would hate if she saw them. Only because of how critical she is of herself. But I don’t show them to her. I probably send her a few every so often. And of course only the ones I know she will approve of herself in. 😉 I take them so my boys will have them one day. So they will be able to go back and see pictures of Gramma and the things they did together.

We don’t know how long we will be on this Earth. Pictures are one of the few things we can leave behind to help our loved ones remember those special times. 💙

Terrible Two’s

The “terrible two’s” have begun. I always wondered why people called it that. I’m learning…..just FYI, kids in their “terrible two’s aren’t bad kids. They haven’t turned bad, weren’t previously bad, etc. They are just at a struggling point. 😩

Around the age of 2 kids are learning how to communicate. They’re stuck in a world where they are learning words, and only know a few at a time. They want to communicate but they don’t know exactly how to get their emotions across with words. Not to mention dealing with their own emotions can be overwhelming enough as it is. It can be incredibly frustrating for a little one so temper tantrums and melt downs are extremely common. 😞

The easiest way to get through the “terrible twos” is to be patient and work with your child. Help them with words, and try to be understanding. Know that the temper tantrums aren’t done to punish or embarrass you. They are just extremely overwhelmed and that’s how they handle it. 👍🏻

It’s extremely frustrating at times but you sort of have to put yourself in your kids shoes. Imagine how frustrating how it can be for them. 💙

Mistakes

I realize now that I made quite a few “mistakes” with Ryder. Mistake might not be the best word to use since everything really was a learning experience. I’m just realizing now, I maybe should have done some things a different way than I originally did. Although, how are you to really learn/know without a little trial and error? 🤷🏼‍♀️

You can follow all the baby books and advice you want. But not everything “recommended” will work for your child. Sometimes you just have to throw out the books, ignore what everyone says (except your doctor) and just try your own thing! Your first child is like the experiment child. You figure it out as you go! 👶🏻

I get less anxiety when Camden cries. When Ryder would cry I would immediately panic to try to figure out what he wanted/needed. I actually caused myself unnecessary stress. With Cam I just listen. He has certain cries to give me cues if he’s hungry, tired, etc. Sometimes he just cries for a minute as if he’s confused as to what he wants. I let him do his thing and then he’s done as if nothing happened.

I’ve also got this diaper changing thing down now! I get peed on less and I’m more prepared for the projectile poops! I know the wall appreciates it. It saw its fair share of poop splatter the first time around!

Ryder has been the best little guinea pig a mom could ask for! I was way more prepared this second time around and definitely a bit more confident thanks to him. 😂💙

For your next one…..

People: For your next one will you try for a girl since you have two boys? 👦🏼

Me: Nah I think we’ll try for a puppy. But if not, a baby is just fine. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Seriously this question makes me laugh so I always answer it with something ridiculous. Not to mention, I JUST had a baby. I’d like to focus on these two right now before I think about anything else baby wise.

Will we have another one? Maybe, probably, who knows. It’s sort of in gods hands whether we have another or not. It doesn’t matter to me WHAT it is if we have another. I’d just pray that it be happy and healthy.

For my first baby I was dead set on having a boy. I knew the minute I got pregnant I was meant to be a boy mom. However, if Ryder had been a girl I wouldn’t have been upset. A baby is a baby and I would have loved it no matter what it was. 💙