Terrible Two’s

The “terrible two’s” have begun. I always wondered why people called it that. I’m learning…..just FYI, kids in their “terrible two’s aren’t bad kids. They haven’t turned bad, weren’t previously bad, etc. They are just at a struggling point. 😩

Around the age of 2 kids are learning how to communicate. They’re stuck in a world where they are learning words, and only know a few at a time. They want to communicate but they don’t know exactly how to get their emotions across with words. Not to mention dealing with their own emotions can be overwhelming enough as it is. It can be incredibly frustrating for a little one so temper tantrums and melt downs are extremely common. 😞

The easiest way to get through the “terrible twos” is to be patient and work with your child. Help them with words, and try to be understanding. Know that the temper tantrums aren’t done to punish or embarrass you. They are just extremely overwhelmed and that’s how they handle it. 👍🏻

It’s extremely frustrating at times but you sort of have to put yourself in your kids shoes. Imagine how frustrating how it can be for them. 💙

Mistakes

I realize now that I made quite a few “mistakes” with Ryder. Mistake might not be the best word to use since everything really was a learning experience. I’m just realizing now, I maybe should have done some things a different way than I originally did. Although, how are you to really learn/know without a little trial and error? 🤷🏼‍♀️

You can follow all the baby books and advice you want. But not everything “recommended” will work for your child. Sometimes you just have to throw out the books, ignore what everyone says (except your doctor) and just try your own thing! Your first child is like the experiment child. You figure it out as you go! 👶🏻

I get less anxiety when Camden cries. When Ryder would cry I would immediately panic to try to figure out what he wanted/needed. I actually caused myself unnecessary stress. With Cam I just listen. He has certain cries to give me cues if he’s hungry, tired, etc. Sometimes he just cries for a minute as if he’s confused as to what he wants. I let him do his thing and then he’s done as if nothing happened.

I’ve also got this diaper changing thing down now! I get peed on less and I’m more prepared for the projectile poops! I know the wall appreciates it. It saw its fair share of poop splatter the first time around!

Ryder has been the best little guinea pig a mom could ask for! I was way more prepared this second time around and definitely a bit more confident thanks to him. 😂💙

Mom Guilt

I had no idea what I was in for when I brought Cam home from the hospital. I knew it would be different but I didn’t realize HOW different.

The first week we brought Cam home, I cried multiple times. Not from depression or anything like that. Mainly due to feeling overwhelmed and as if I was letting Ryder down.

Ryder had been so used to having 100% of my attention all the time. When Cam came home that changed and he got maybe 30% of my attention. The rest was spent feeding Cam, changing him, etc. It was really hard on Ryder, which made it hard on me. I felt so guilty I couldn’t give either boy 100% of my attention. And it’s not easy to get a toddler to understand WHY they are no longer getting all of your attention. I had a significant amount of mom guilt.

I’ve been working hard to find ways to make more time for Ryder. While Cam naps I give Ryder my full attention. My house is completely neglected and doesn’t look like it’s clean self, but I don’t care. Ryder needs me as much as he can get during this new change.

I’ve also made Ryder my little “helper.” I ask him to help me do things for Cam. Like hand me a diaper, close the wipe warmer, put away a toy, sit with us, etc. He’s proud of himself when he’s able to help out. I can see a significant change in him from day 1 to now. He doesn’t side eye his brother anymore. Lol He actually goes over to him and looks at him. Sometimes he points at things like his foot or hand and says “what’s this?” It’s progress!

I knew it would be hard, but I guess I wasn’t prepared for how hard it would be mentally and on my heart. I was just prepared for the physical aspect. This has been an eye opening experience. However, I don’t regret a minute of it. No matter how difficult, these boys are my world. 🌎

Baby Update

Baby update: The boys and I are slowly adjusting to life together. It’s definitely been an uphill battle. Routines have changed and the vibe in the house is very different. Even the dog is thrown off. 😂 But it’s a good different. Literally each day has a new challenge to work around and learn from. 👍🏻

Trying to get Cam and Ryder up and taken care of each morning definitely isn’t without its battles. They are both in a demanding stage and need so much of my attention. Also, a clean house isn’t the easiest task now. So I do my best just to make sure things don’t pile up. Showering is done if I’m lucky. I have to beg someone to watch the boys just to be able to rinse off. God only knows when I’ll be able to find the time to wash my hair again. Dreadlocks may be in my future! 😂

By no means am I complaining. I love the new changes in our life. And despite Ryder’s annoyed faces he gives Cam, I think he will settle in soon and realize Cam isn’t a threat. If my over possessive dog can be ok with Cam I know Ryder will be too (eventually). 🐶

When people ask what I need, my only request is positivity. I just need everyone to be positive and happy around me. If others around me are happy and positive, it helps keep my energy levels and positivity up. I focus more on the good and less on the things upsetting me or stressing me out. And trust me, with 2 little ones under two, the feeling of stress and being overwhelmed comes quick!

Dogs and kids

One thing I’ve found interesting over the last two years is how attached my dog Sadie has become to Ryder. 🐕

When I brought him home from the hospital she snarled and growled at him. She would pace by his bed and whine. She was clearly unhappy. I really worried that she was not going to be ok with him. ❌

I gradually introduced Sadie to Ryder. I made sure to only pet her when I was holding him. I wanted her to understand that when I had him, I still loved her and would give her attention. When I wasn’t holding him I sort of ignored her. So she got rewarded for being good when he was close. After about a month she eased up and become interested in him. By the time he was 3 months old, she would actually go and lay by him. Now, he’s almost 2 and she is glued to him. She follows him all around the house. 💙

She’s really protective of him and careful of what he does. If he does something she knows he’s not supposed to she lets out this growl. It’s not a mad growl like when she growls at the mail man or lawn guys. It’s like a warning growl. As if she’s telling him not to do that. 😡

When Ryder gets too close to the pool or is in the pool and gets too close to the steps, she will actually growl and put her body in between him and the pool/steps. If he goes over by the deep end to put his hand in, she runs over and lightly nudges his arm and growls as if to tell him to tell him to stop. He’s even put things in the pool that didn’t belong there and she went to retrieve the item out of the pool, and move it far away from him. 🏊🏻

Every dog is different. I never expected Sadie to take to Ryder as well as she did, but I’m so grateful. It’s nice having a second set of “eyes” on him. She may not be able to do as much as me but I love that she tries to help keep him safe. 💙

Baby 1 meeting baby 2

Everyone keeps asking me how I think Ryder is going to handle having a new baby around. I literally have no idea. And all the questions have started making me feel a little guilty. That sounds horrible when I say it out loud. But in all honesty I’m a little nervous. I don’t want him feeling attention deprived or think I love him any less. I’m having a hard time with that right now. 🤦🏼‍♀️

I know the positive patty’s of the world are going to tell me he will be just fine and everything will turn out great. Yeah yeah, leave me alone. I know everything will be just fine, but that doesn’t mean my mom guilt just goes away or lessons any right now. 😢

I know it may take a few weeks and he will eventually adjust to the change and realize I’m still here and still love him as much as I ever have. It just tears at my heart that for any amount of time he would be upset or sad. He’s the happiest kid ever so it breaks my heart to see him upset. 💙

Clean up

Baby pee, easy clean up. Baby poop, no prob. Baby vomit, not ideal but I’m fine cleaning but up. However, today I had to use my nail to clean a booger out of my kids nose because the wipes, Kleenex and sucker wouldn’t get it……THAT almost made me vomit. I was literally gagging trying to clean his nose. That was definitely one of the hardest things I’ve done in a while! Ridiculous I know. I guess we all have our “gross out” things. 🤷🏼‍♀️