Mistakes

I realize now that I made quite a few “mistakes” with Ryder. Mistake might not be the best word to use since everything really was a learning experience. I’m just realizing now, I maybe should have done some things a different way than I originally did. Although, how are you to really learn/know without a little trial and error? 🤷🏼‍♀️

You can follow all the baby books and advice you want. But not everything “recommended” will work for your child. Sometimes you just have to throw out the books, ignore what everyone says (except your doctor) and just try your own thing! Your first child is like the experiment child. You figure it out as you go! 👶🏻

I get less anxiety when Camden cries. When Ryder would cry I would immediately panic to try to figure out what he wanted/needed. I actually caused myself unnecessary stress. With Cam I just listen. He has certain cries to give me cues if he’s hungry, tired, etc. Sometimes he just cries for a minute as if he’s confused as to what he wants. I let him do his thing and then he’s done as if nothing happened.

I’ve also got this diaper changing thing down now! I get peed on less and I’m more prepared for the projectile poops! I know the wall appreciates it. It saw its fair share of poop splatter the first time around!

Ryder has been the best little guinea pig a mom could ask for! I was way more prepared this second time around and definitely a bit more confident thanks to him. 😂💙

For your next one…..

People: For your next one will you try for a girl since you have two boys? 👦🏼

Me: Nah I think we’ll try for a puppy. But if not, a baby is just fine. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Seriously this question makes me laugh so I always answer it with something ridiculous. Not to mention, I JUST had a baby. I’d like to focus on these two right now before I think about anything else baby wise.

Will we have another one? Maybe, probably, who knows. It’s sort of in gods hands whether we have another or not. It doesn’t matter to me WHAT it is if we have another. I’d just pray that it be happy and healthy.

For my first baby I was dead set on having a boy. I knew the minute I got pregnant I was meant to be a boy mom. However, if Ryder had been a girl I wouldn’t have been upset. A baby is a baby and I would have loved it no matter what it was. 💙

Nursing in public

Nursing in public…..to do it or not to do it…..🍼

I’m one of those moms who isn’t comfortable nursing my child in public. I’m just a little squeamish about people looking at me or giving me unwanted attention, so I prefer to go to a different room, bathroom, etc. Thats just how I am. However, I have no issue with people who want to nurse their child in public. More power to them! If I had the guts to do it I would! 👶🏻

By law it is legal in all 50 states for a woman to nurse her baby anywhere in public or private that she chooses.

If you see someone doing it and it bothers you, MOVE! They have a right to feed their child wherever and whenever they want. You however have no right to make judgement. If it makes you uncomfortable, then use those legs god gave you and go somewhere else.

Another baby?

Do y’all want another baby? 👶🏻

I’ve gotten that question so many times it actually makes me laugh. I mean, I literally just popped one out! Give me some time people! 😂

Before I was married and had kids I was constantly questioned “when are you getting married?” As if I knew exactly when it would happen. I understand people mean it in a harmless way. But there’s different ways to say or ask things. And in all honestly, that’s not exactly an appropriate question to ask. It’s not the best feeling to be asked when you’re getting married if you don’t have a boyfriend, haven’t had that conversation or aren’t in that place yet. There isn’t, and shouldn’t be a schedule for that type of thing. Everyone should just do things on their own time.

There’s definitely a time and a place to ask certain questions. I don’t mind people asking if I want to have another baby. I just think days/weeks after I JUST popped one out isn’t exactly the appropriate time. I’m focused on my two current ones. Taking care of a newborn and a 2 year old is a lot of work. I need time to find my footing before I even think about a third one.

Right now my only future thought is when will my next shower be? That’s about as far into the future as I can plan right now. 🤷🏼‍♀️

3 weeks post delivery

Almost 3 weeks post delivery. My body isn’t ready for regular workouts yet but I had been itching to just get out and move. Camden and I have started coming up to our golf club and just walking the track. It’s nothing major but gets me out of the house and moving! 🏃‍♀️

I’m not in a huge rush to lose the baby weight this time. With Ryder I was so panicked about the extra weight and wanted to get in the gym the day after I had him to start working it off. (I didn’t but I wanted to)💪🏻

This time around I’m taking it slow. I know I can get the weight off. So rather than pushing myself like a crazy person, I’m just taking my time and easing into everything. The weight will come off in due time. I’m more focused on making sure I get in enough calories daily and am eating good foods to fuel Camden! 🍎

Epidurals

Epidurals…..to have one or not. There’s a lot of mixed reviews. I was one who was adamant about having one. I have a decently high pain tolerance but childbirth was not a pain I wanted to endure. Plus I wanted to be able to have my full attention on what was happening. I wanted to be able to remember every second without something like debilitating pain blurring memories. 😖

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Everyone reacts differently to anesthesia. I have no major issues with it. It makes my belly itch a few hours after I’ve stopped being administered it, but that’s the only side effect I’ve ever gotten. Just because one person has a certain reaction to it, doesn’t mean you will too. Everyone’s body is different. 💪🏻

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The epidural itself was pretty quick and easy. I felt a little pressure and a small prick but I never felt any major pain when the doctor was administering it. When the medication hit my body I felt a small burn like a fresh sunburn. After that I began to feel a little tingling in my feet. Not the annoying tingling you get when your foot falls asleep. A manageable non annoying one. Within 30 minutes my legs were starting to numb, and I felt no more pain. I could feel pressure but no pain. After about an hour I could no longer move my legs on my own. I would wiggle my toes a little but I couldn’t actually feel them. 🦶🏻

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Again, everyone is different. I am a fan of epidurals and highly encourage it if your doctor gives the approval for you to have one. I was able to sleep, talk/text with people and remember every bit of the birth thanks to the epidural. Would I like to be able to say I was strong enough to endure a natural non medicated birth? Ya maybe. But I don’t know that I would have enjoyed the process and been able to relax and remember everything that I do if I hadn’t gotten medication. To each their own! Everyone is different. I am very happy with my decision and wouldn’t change anything about the process we went through. 💙

Mom Guilt

I had no idea what I was in for when I brought Cam home from the hospital. I knew it would be different but I didn’t realize HOW different.

The first week we brought Cam home, I cried multiple times. Not from depression or anything like that. Mainly due to feeling overwhelmed and as if I was letting Ryder down.

Ryder had been so used to having 100% of my attention all the time. When Cam came home that changed and he got maybe 30% of my attention. The rest was spent feeding Cam, changing him, etc. It was really hard on Ryder, which made it hard on me. I felt so guilty I couldn’t give either boy 100% of my attention. And it’s not easy to get a toddler to understand WHY they are no longer getting all of your attention. I had a significant amount of mom guilt.

I’ve been working hard to find ways to make more time for Ryder. While Cam naps I give Ryder my full attention. My house is completely neglected and doesn’t look like it’s clean self, but I don’t care. Ryder needs me as much as he can get during this new change.

I’ve also made Ryder my little “helper.” I ask him to help me do things for Cam. Like hand me a diaper, close the wipe warmer, put away a toy, sit with us, etc. He’s proud of himself when he’s able to help out. I can see a significant change in him from day 1 to now. He doesn’t side eye his brother anymore. Lol He actually goes over to him and looks at him. Sometimes he points at things like his foot or hand and says “what’s this?” It’s progress!

I knew it would be hard, but I guess I wasn’t prepared for how hard it would be mentally and on my heart. I was just prepared for the physical aspect. This has been an eye opening experience. However, I don’t regret a minute of it. No matter how difficult, these boys are my world. 🌎