Did you know that as a child becomes more independent, sometimes a mother will non-consciously look for issues to feel more needed?
Mind you, this does not happen to every mother. But it is a very common thing to have happen. It’s understandable that it does. It’s human nature to like to feel needed and wanted. Especially when you’ve had someone like a child, who was so dependent on you for so long, go from heavy dependence to independence. I can understand how it’s a hard switch for the parent.
Sadly this is something that doesn’t just happen once. It’s something that happens often over a child’s life. A baby goes from needing to be carried everywhere, to learning to crawl and eventually walk. Toddlers move into a stage where they start to learn how to do things on their own, so they want to do EVERYTHING on their own. And this need for independence continues through the tween, teen and early adult years.
I can understand why being a mom is hard now. Going from being needed, to not being needed as much or at all is a hard transition. It definitely can take a toll on you emotionally! 🙁
The other day when I was dropping Ryder off at our gym daycare, a little boy about his age fell while playing outside and busted his nose. There was blood everywhere. The child was screaming of course out of fear and I’m sure pain. I knew it was going to freak ryder out a bit with people rushing around. He seemed ok so I left.
A few minutes later I heard the siren for the paramedics. I immediately went right back to the daycare. I knew when ryder saw those paramedics he would have a flashback to his accident a few weeks ago and freak out.
When I got to the daycare I found ryder hiding in a corner of the room. He wasn’t crying or anything he was just hiding and looking at everyone with a nervous look. When he saw me he walked over and just hugged me. I stayed until the paramedics left. I wanted him to know they were ok and there to help, but I also wanted him to know I was there to help make him feel safe.
After everything settled and I left, they said he did great. He went back to playing like he does every day. Did I have to go back in there when I heard the paramedics? No. But the accident he had a few weeks ago there is still fresh in his memory and I want him to be comfortable at daycare and not scared of it or of paramedics.
Call it coddling or babying, that’s your opinion. Everyone handles situations differently and this is how I chose to handle this one. To each their own. But having my 1 1/2 year old scared because he remembers his own first major injury is just not something I wanted him to be alone for. 💙