Independence

Did you know that as a child becomes more independent, sometimes a mother will non-consciously look for issues to feel more needed?

Mind you, this does not happen to every mother. But it is a very common thing to have happen. It’s understandable that it does. It’s human nature to like to feel needed and wanted. Especially when you’ve had someone like a child, who was so dependent on you for so long, go from heavy dependence to independence. I can understand how it’s a hard switch for the parent.

Sadly this is something that doesn’t just happen once. It’s something that happens often over a child’s life. A baby goes from needing to be carried everywhere, to learning to crawl and eventually walk. Toddlers move into a stage where they start to learn how to do things on their own, so they want to do EVERYTHING on their own. And this need for independence continues through the tween, teen and early adult years.

I can understand why being a mom is hard now. Going from being needed, to not being needed as much or at all is a hard transition. It definitely can take a toll on you emotionally! 🙁

Christmas with kids

I thought Christmas was exciting as a child, but no one told me how much fun it is when you have a child. Seeing the excitement of the holidays on their face just melts your heart!

My oldest is obsessed with Christmas lights. He gets SO excited when he sees them. He loves to look out the window every night at the neighbors lights. You’d think they put up different lights each night by how excited he gets to see them each time. But no, it’s the same lights every night. It’s so cute!

He isn’t 100% sure about Santa but he knows he’s associated with Christmas and points to him anytime he sees something with Santa on it.

My kids are still young so they don’t exactly associate gifts with Christmas. Which is super humbling because here they are getting excited about the lights, decorations, etc, vs the size of the presents or how many there are. Everything with them is so innocent and sweet right now. It makes you just want to freeze time and stay here in this moment forever! ❤️

Toddler Struggles

The start to yesterday’s temper tantrum was thanks to Ryders fingers……

His fingers couldn’t reach to the bottom of the raisin box to get the last few raisins to eat. This is where the tantrum began. It caused a full body drop to the floor, followed by rolling. It almost looked like he was practicing the “stop, drop and roll” we learned in elementary school for when we ever caught on fire. So naturally the visual and memory of that just made me laugh. Well, if you’ve ever laughed at a mad toddler, you know it’s a BAD idea. This made the tantrum even worse, and louder. He decided to throw the raisin box at me because I laughed at him. The box hit me causing the stuck raisins to break free and fly all over the floor. The dog came running into the kitchen because she thought something was wrong with him thanks to all the noise he was making. She saw all the raisins on the floor and began to eat them. So of course this caused the tantrum to continue further, because now his raisins are gone.

Mind you this went on for a good 10-15 minutes

Lesson learned for mom: put raisins in a bowl and never laugh at a mad toddler 🤦🏼‍♀️

Life with two young kids

Life with two young kids….. 👶🏻 👶🏻

Yesterday the day started with one kid peeing ON my pillow. I’m still debating on whether to put it in the wash and bleach it or call it a loss and just throw it away. 🛌

It was then followed by Ryder taking off his shorts and diaper and running naked through the house. He was kind enough to take me by the hand and show me where he peed on the floor during his streaking episode. 🚽

Ryder’s new thing is sticking his hands down his pants…..we knew the day would come as it does with every little boy. However, we have started with the back side of our pants. It took all my energy not to fall over laughing when ryder stuck his hands down into his diaper, only to remember he had just pooped. He pulled his hands out and they were covered with poop. It was HILARIOUS to see the look on his face. Then I realized I had to clean him up. It stopped being funny…… 🧼

That afternoon Ryder decided he wanted to have a party while I was changing Camden’s diaper. He went into the pantry and took out the paper plates and flung them all over the kitchen. He then took out the remaining plastic wine glasses from a previous party and lined them up on the floor. He filled those glasses with animal crackers from his snack bowl. The dog decided to join the party and ate some of the animal crackers. He also took out any boxed food item and stacked them as high as he could. 🐶

During another of Camden’s diaper changes, Ryder thought it would be funny to go in the closet, shut the door and sit quietly giving mommy a heart attack as she ran around the house panicked trying to find him. 🚪

Dinner consisted of 75% of the meal ending up in Ryder’s lap or on the floor. (We are still trying to master our silverware skills.) So of course right before bed he was starving and asking for more food. Guess what I gave him……the remaining animal crackers in the plastic cups! 😂

Would I say this was a bad day? No. It was definitely a battle of a day but not our worst! We are all in one piece still. So I’d say it was just one of our more “busy” days. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Photos when you’re gone

I saw the best quote the other day. It reminded me a bit of my mom.

“One day, all your children will have is pictures of you. Make sure you’re in them. No matter what your hair looks like, your makeup, or your body. They won’t care about any of that. They will just want to see you.”

Looking back through photo albums I don’t have many pictures of me with my mom or even of just my mom. She is one of those people who is incredible critical of herself. So she wouldn’t be in pictures or let anyone take one of her if she didn’t feel she looks her best.

I’ve had days like that where I didn’t want my picture taken because I felt I looked like crap. But lately I’ve made a conscious effort to take pictures of me with my boys. I have days where I go a week without washing my hair, I have no makeup on and my shirt is stained with god know what one of them got on me. But I still join in on the picture. I don’t want them going back through photos and not having many or any of me. I want them to be able to look back at picture and remember me and the days we had together when I’m gone. 💙

I sneakily take a lot of pictures of my mom with my boys. 95% of them she would hate if she saw them. Only because of how critical she is of herself. But I don’t show them to her. I probably send her a few every so often. And of course only the ones I know she will approve of herself in. 😉 I take them so my boys will have them one day. So they will be able to go back and see pictures of Gramma and the things they did together.

We don’t know how long we will be on this Earth. Pictures are one of the few things we can leave behind to help our loved ones remember those special times. 💙

Body Dysmorphia

I found this picture a few years ago and was shocked at how tiny I looked! My arms were so scrawny! I remember thinking back then I was “fat” and had weight to lose. I would spend almost two hours in the gym some days. I wish I could go back and slap my former self! 😳

When I was a teacher, I always started our mental health chapter by showing this picture and beginning the discussion of body dysmorphia. I would explain that sometimes you can’t see what others see, especially when it comes to your body.

Body dismorphia by definition is the obsessive idea that some aspect of one’s own body part or appearance is severely flawed and warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix their dysmorphic part.

This was a topic I actually spent two days on in both my health and leadership classes. Body dismorphia has become so prevalent, especially with the amount of social media channels now available.

Two days may seem like a long time to discuss a topic like body dismorphia but you’d be amazed at how into the topic they got! Kids will tell you the struggles of social media and how it affects their view of themselves. It’s brutal for kids now days. Its just my opinion, but I’m thankful I grew up in a time with no social media and cellphones that didn’t take pictures!

One of my favorite discussion questions to ask was “if we did away with social media (yes I know we never will but let’s just say hypothetically) would body dismorphia be less prevalent?”

We then followed up with a question like….. “do you think social media makes kids/teens now days tougher or weaker?” This question led to a full day of back and forth discussion (most of the time). In my leadership class we actually used it as a debate question when we did our debate section.

I was so incredibly impressed by the raw honesty of some of the kids in my classes. I was pretty quiet in HS and was always afraid to share my opinion for fear of ridicule. Obviously that’s changed now! 😂

I have my moments where I’m critical of myself, but I think I’m more logical now. Maybe that’s something that comes with age. But I look back at old pictures vs current and I feel like I know what “healthy” looks like now on my body. I also use social media as a tool! I love to read what new recipes people are trying or how other moms are getting through similar struggles. Yes social media has negative aspects and some people use it to vent and complain. But if you ignore all of that there are some really fantastic people out there in the world talking about so many great things. Find those people who encourage you and follow them! Remember, positivity breeds positivity! 💙