Only the strongest friendships survive life. I say life because it’s not just the ups and downs. It’s everything in between. Finding a good friend is like finding your soul mate. It’s not easy and you go through so much to get there. But when you find that person, it’s like something clicks.
When we were little we were so focused on making lots of friends. I think it’s fantastic for little kids to be nice to everyone and want to be friends with everyone. But as an adult, that’s an unrealistic hope that we can be “friends” with everyone. I hate to say it, but not everyone wants to be your friend. And that’s totally ok! You just need to find those select few people that you click with.
As you age, if you notice your circle of friends getting smaller, don’t be alarmed! As we get older, people change. Our views and beliefs don’t always align and this can cause rifts in relationships. Some people’s ability to accept can make it difficult and put strain on a relationship. Also, people have different life paths. Sometimes friendships dissolve without any actual problems. People just lose touch. It’s normal for life to get in the way.
My best friend and I don’t have the same views on everything. But we respect each other’s view even if it’s not fitting for us personally. We do however have the same values and similar (not the same) goals in life. We are both very supportive of each other in every aspect of life. That is part of what makes our relationship great. Without a strong support system you will find yourself feeling lost and maybe a bit alone.
Find that friend who encourages you and brings positive light to your life. Someone who can laugh with you at the stupid things. Someone who loves you even at your worst. Those are the friendships that will bring you support, strength and happiness. Find someone who makes you a better person.
If you could go back and “redo and undo” parts of your life, what would they be?
Me? I would undo some arguments with my parents. Now having a child, I understand a little more. They weren’t being “mean.” They we’re trying to protect me and teach me a lesson. They wanted me to make the right decisions. However, if I’d done what they said and made the “right” decision, would I be the person I am today? Probably not. But I do regret some of the ways I talked to my parents. Yes I know teenagers and young adults have their moments, and it’s expected. But I hate to be “expected.” I think I’d like to keep the arguments but undo my words and tone if I could.
I think for the most part I was a good rule follower growing up. I did my best to do as my parents said. I never liked the feeling of disappointing them. When I disappointed them, I think I was harder on myself than they were on me. I think that’s the gymnast in me. There’s something about gymnasts and toughness. They internalize a lot, are critical of themselves, and are typically harder on themselves than others.
My “undo” would be to undo some friendships. There were some toxic friendships in my life I probably could have done without. Although, if I hadn’t had those friendships, would I be the person I am today? Probably not. I learned a lot about me, about other people, about life and how you should treat a friend.
So ultimately maybe nothing should be undone. But again, I wish I could redo the tone and wording of some conversations. Lesson learned though in the end.
What would you redo and undo if you could? Could you find things that you could absolutely redo/undo or are you like me and know you probably needed the lesson that came with the choices originally?