Food battle

“Are you going to be a picky eater tonight?” Or “why aren’t you eating that? The amount of times I’ve heard these……🤔

Why are we so critical of what other people eat or don’t eat? I’ve battled with a food allergy for almost 10 years now. I’ve gone to dinner at peoples houses and not been able to eat much of anything because they served something I’m allergic to. I’ve gotten better about letting people know ahead of time. But I used to be so shy about it that I wouldn’t eat. A people assumed I had an eating disorder because I wouldn’t eat. Little did they know, on my way home I was eating the protein bar I had stashed in my car and would wolf down everything in my fridge at home!

There have been other times where I had to pick around food in hopes of eating something without getting sick. I’ve been called a picky eater because of this. I don’t really think a food allergy qualifies someone as a picky eater. It’s not really their choice to have a food allergy. If I could get rid of it I would! It would definitely make life easier when eating out or at peoples houses!

Rather than assume someone has an eating disorder or brand them as a picky eater, why not give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they have a food allergy! Or maybe they just don’t like what you’re serving. 😂 I think we as a society need to work on being less critical. We also need to worry more about ourselves and less about what other people are doing (in some cases).

Friendship

Only the strongest friendships survive life. I say life because it’s not just the ups and downs. It’s everything in between. Finding a good friend is like finding your soul mate. It’s not easy and you go through so much to get there. But when you find that person, it’s like something clicks.

When we were little we were so focused on making lots of friends. I think it’s fantastic for little kids to be nice to everyone and want to be friends with everyone. But as an adult, that’s an unrealistic hope that we can be “friends” with everyone. I hate to say it, but not everyone wants to be your friend. And that’s totally ok! You just need to find those select few people that you click with.

As you age, if you notice your circle of friends getting smaller, don’t be alarmed! As we get older, people change. Our views and beliefs don’t always align and this can cause rifts in relationships. Some people’s ability to accept can make it difficult and put strain on a relationship. Also, people have different life paths. Sometimes friendships dissolve without any actual problems. People just lose touch. It’s normal for life to get in the way.

My best friend and I don’t have the same views on everything. But we respect each other’s view even if it’s not fitting for us personally. We do however have the same values and similar (not the same) goals in life. We are both very supportive of each other in every aspect of life. That is part of what makes our relationship great. Without a strong support system you will find yourself feeling lost and maybe a bit alone.

Find that friend who encourages you and brings positive light to your life. Someone who can laugh with you at the stupid things. Someone who loves you even at your worst. Those are the friendships that will bring you support, strength and happiness. Find someone who makes you a better person.

Avoid a flat butt

This is probably going to be one of my weirdest blog posts. It’s about butts. Bear with me 😂

Have you ever seen someone’s butt that was flat, as if they sat on it too long? Did you know that sitting for too long can actually flatten out your butt? Now don’t freak out. This won’t happen over night. But hours of sitting, day after day, can change the shape of your butt over time.

When you sit for long periods of time with poor posture (which 90% of people are guilty of), your hip flexors tighten up and cause reciprocal inhibition (preventing activation) of the glutes. This weakens the muscle and “flattens” it out.

Bad posture when sitting can also cause an anterior pelvic tilt. This means your pelvis rotates backward causing your butt to appear flatter.

If you have a desk job where you are forced to sit every day for hours on end, make sure to move often. Set an alarm on your phone to remind yourself to get up every hour. Walk around the office or go up and down the stairs for a little bit. Get those muscles moving. Also be cautious of your posture while sitting. Make sure your spine is aligned and you aren’t hunching.

You can easily keep that butt of yours from getting the dreaded flattened look!

Redo/undo life

If you could go back and “redo and undo” parts of your life, what would they be?

Me? I would undo some arguments with my parents. Now having a child, I understand a little more. They weren’t being “mean.” They we’re trying to protect me and teach me a lesson. They wanted me to make the right decisions. However, if I’d done what they said and made the “right” decision, would I be the person I am today? Probably not. But I do regret some of the ways I talked to my parents. Yes I know teenagers and young adults have their moments, and it’s expected. But I hate to be “expected.” I think I’d like to keep the arguments but undo my words and tone if I could.

I think for the most part I was a good rule follower growing up. I did my best to do as my parents said. I never liked the feeling of disappointing them. When I disappointed them, I think I was harder on myself than they were on me. I think that’s the gymnast in me. There’s something about gymnasts and toughness. They internalize a lot, are critical of themselves, and are typically harder on themselves than others.

My “undo” would be to undo some friendships. There were some toxic friendships in my life I probably could have done without. Although, if I hadn’t had those friendships, would I be the person I am today? Probably not. I learned a lot about me, about other people, about life and how you should treat a friend.

So ultimately maybe nothing should be undone. But again, I wish I could redo the tone and wording of some conversations. Lesson learned though in the end.

What would you redo and undo if you could? Could you find things that you could absolutely redo/undo or are you like me and know you probably needed the lesson that came with the choices originally?

Everyone has an opinion

Everyone has an opinion and everyone wants to give you advice when you have a child. Some people’s advice can be helpful and others can be confusing and strange. I personally try not to listen too much when people give me their unsolicited advice. I don’t do it because I’m trying to be rude, it’s just that I’m someone who would rather find their own way. I like to figure things out on my own. I learn better that way.

Not everything that works for one child will work the same for all. Every child is different. When I first had Ryder I took a few peoples advice and tried what they recommended. It didn’t workout well. It either upset him more or just did let have a affect. That’s when I made my decision to just ignore the advice of others and find my own way as I went. There were a few people I listened to, like my doctor and my mother, but I tried to filter out all the other random advice.

I still laugh when I remember being at an event and someone asked me if Ryder was crawling yet. I told them that he skipped crawling and went right from army crawling to cruising. She got a look or horror on her face and said “oh my gosh he’s going to be behind developmentally. You need to get him to crawl.” I have no idea what look was on my face when she said that. But I replied by telling her my doctor said crawling is no longer considered a milestone because so many kids skip over it. Her reply was “I guess times have changed.” Lord! Imagine if my doctor hadn’t told me that. I might have panicked and thought something was wrong with my child! This is exactly why you need to take peoples comments and advice with a grain of salt.

When someone gives you advice or makes a comment about what your child should be doing at a certain stage, take it as you want (unless it’s your doctor). Use it or just forget about it. It’s your child and you are free to raise them as you please. You’re their momma (or daddy) and your instincts will tell you what you should do. Go with what YOU think is best. It’s all a learning process and no one is perfect!

Your job

Recently I bumped into an old friend from high school. We did the usual “how have you been,” surface conversation. When that friend asked me where I was now working and I told them I was a stay at home mom…..you should have seen their face. It actually made me laugh out loud. That friend apologized for the look, although it wasn’t necessary, and said they never would have expected that of me. I was such a career driven person who could never sit still.

If you had told me 10 years ago that I would eventually become a stay at home mom, I probably would have laughed at you. In my mind, back then, stay at home moms had the easiest job in the world and did little to no work. I assumed they had all this free time. I thought, how hard can it be to just feed and change a child. I was so naive…..

Having not been a parent yet 10 years ago, I had NO IDEA how much energy and work goes in to raising a child. I feel like I owe all stay at home moms an apology for thinking (never saying out loud) they had it easy. I get it now! There are very few “easy” moments. I don’t get time to sit down. Ryder is always on the go, especially now walking. Most days Im just doing my best to make sure he’s fed well and doesn’t injure himself. By days end I’m more exhausted than I was working in corporate America or teaching/coaching high schoolers.

It’s definitely a different world I’m in now. But I don’t dislike anything about it or regret it at all. Some days are easier than others. But I look at it like a new adventure. No it’s not a paying job but it’s so incredibly rewarding. To be able to see every little thing Ryder does every day and not miss a minute of it is more than I could ask for.

Don’t get me wrong, there are days where I miss certain parts of my previous jobs. When I was a PM I was always traveling, presenting to large groups and doing something huge within the automotive world. I literally felt on top of the world. Then teaching and coaching I was working with students and athletes. Helping them learn in the classroom and at practice. Getting to see them excel was such a good feeling. But like I said, I wouldn’t change anything. I loved both of those jobs at the different times of my life that I worked them. I’m now in a different stage of life with a new “job.” One that I never really saw myself doing but am so incredibly grateful I have the opportunity to do.

My advice to everyone is to never judge someone based off their “job.” There are different stresses and difficulties that come with every job. Some bigger than others and some easier than others. We all have our battles. But please don’t ever discredit someone for doing a job like raising their child.

Aging and weight gain

As we get older, a common myth people still believe is that they gain weight because of age. Your age doesn’t cause you to gain weight.

As you age, your body’s production of hormones that help maintain muscle mass decreases. As you lose muscle, more of your weight can be attributed to fat. In addition, as we age we often become less active. Many people still continue to eat the same portions and foods they are back when they were more active and able to burn it off quicker. Additionally, as we age we think we need less sleep or busy ourselves so much that stress causes a lack of sleep. These are factors that cause you to gain weight as you get older. But there are things you can do to work with your body and fight off the excess weight gain!

Exercise: Exercise with weights at least twice a week at a minimum. Lifting weight builds muscle strength. You don’t have to lift heavy weights! Start light/moderate and build your way up in weight and intensity. No gym membership? There’s plenty of at home workouts you can do. If you have a desk job, make sure to get up and move every so often. Do a lap around the office every hour and take the stairs when you can.

Diet: Watch your food intake and be cautious of portion sizes. Figure out how many calories you should consume in a day for your age and size. Eat lots of veggies and lean protein!

Sleep: Get plenty of sleep. Lack of sleep causes a lack of endurance. So you’re less likely to want to workout or get up and move as much. Ultimately encouraging a sedentary lifestyle which brings on weight gain.

Don’t let aging be your excuse for weight gain! Stay active, eat a healthy diet and get a good amount of sleep each night!