For your next one…..

People: For your next one will you try for a girl since you have two boys? 👦🏼

Me: Nah I think we’ll try for a puppy. But if not, a baby is just fine. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Seriously this question makes me laugh so I always answer it with something ridiculous. Not to mention, I JUST had a baby. I’d like to focus on these two right now before I think about anything else baby wise.

Will we have another one? Maybe, probably, who knows. It’s sort of in gods hands whether we have another or not. It doesn’t matter to me WHAT it is if we have another. I’d just pray that it be happy and healthy.

For my first baby I was dead set on having a boy. I knew the minute I got pregnant I was meant to be a boy mom. However, if Ryder had been a girl I wouldn’t have been upset. A baby is a baby and I would have loved it no matter what it was. 💙

Another baby?

Do y’all want another baby? 👶🏻

I’ve gotten that question so many times it actually makes me laugh. I mean, I literally just popped one out! Give me some time people! 😂

Before I was married and had kids I was constantly questioned “when are you getting married?” As if I knew exactly when it would happen. I understand people mean it in a harmless way. But there’s different ways to say or ask things. And in all honestly, that’s not exactly an appropriate question to ask. It’s not the best feeling to be asked when you’re getting married if you don’t have a boyfriend, haven’t had that conversation or aren’t in that place yet. There isn’t, and shouldn’t be a schedule for that type of thing. Everyone should just do things on their own time.

There’s definitely a time and a place to ask certain questions. I don’t mind people asking if I want to have another baby. I just think days/weeks after I JUST popped one out isn’t exactly the appropriate time. I’m focused on my two current ones. Taking care of a newborn and a 2 year old is a lot of work. I need time to find my footing before I even think about a third one.

Right now my only future thought is when will my next shower be? That’s about as far into the future as I can plan right now. 🤷🏼‍♀️

3 weeks post delivery

Almost 3 weeks post delivery. My body isn’t ready for regular workouts yet but I had been itching to just get out and move. Camden and I have started coming up to our golf club and just walking the track. It’s nothing major but gets me out of the house and moving! 🏃‍♀️

I’m not in a huge rush to lose the baby weight this time. With Ryder I was so panicked about the extra weight and wanted to get in the gym the day after I had him to start working it off. (I didn’t but I wanted to)💪🏻

This time around I’m taking it slow. I know I can get the weight off. So rather than pushing myself like a crazy person, I’m just taking my time and easing into everything. The weight will come off in due time. I’m more focused on making sure I get in enough calories daily and am eating good foods to fuel Camden! 🍎

Mom Guilt

I had no idea what I was in for when I brought Cam home from the hospital. I knew it would be different but I didn’t realize HOW different.

The first week we brought Cam home, I cried multiple times. Not from depression or anything like that. Mainly due to feeling overwhelmed and as if I was letting Ryder down.

Ryder had been so used to having 100% of my attention all the time. When Cam came home that changed and he got maybe 30% of my attention. The rest was spent feeding Cam, changing him, etc. It was really hard on Ryder, which made it hard on me. I felt so guilty I couldn’t give either boy 100% of my attention. And it’s not easy to get a toddler to understand WHY they are no longer getting all of your attention. I had a significant amount of mom guilt.

I’ve been working hard to find ways to make more time for Ryder. While Cam naps I give Ryder my full attention. My house is completely neglected and doesn’t look like it’s clean self, but I don’t care. Ryder needs me as much as he can get during this new change.

I’ve also made Ryder my little “helper.” I ask him to help me do things for Cam. Like hand me a diaper, close the wipe warmer, put away a toy, sit with us, etc. He’s proud of himself when he’s able to help out. I can see a significant change in him from day 1 to now. He doesn’t side eye his brother anymore. Lol He actually goes over to him and looks at him. Sometimes he points at things like his foot or hand and says “what’s this?” It’s progress!

I knew it would be hard, but I guess I wasn’t prepared for how hard it would be mentally and on my heart. I was just prepared for the physical aspect. This has been an eye opening experience. However, I don’t regret a minute of it. No matter how difficult, these boys are my world. 🌎

Hospital vs Home

After delivering a baby, most people actually enjoy staying at the hospital a few days because they feel safe. There are always nurses and doctors coming in and out checking on them and their little one. There’s someone to help with anything and everything. You literally don’t have to lift a finger. It’s nice having someone (besides google) available to answer your every question.

While I enjoyed staying in the hospital, I was also completely paranoid at night. I was constantly checking Camden to make sure he was still breathing. The first night I got one hour of sleep. I literally stared at him for hours. Night two I was so exhausted I managed to peel myself away from him for two hours to sleep…….I actually didn’t sleep by choice. I was sitting up watching him, I remember looking at the clock, then the next thing I know I was waking up two hours later in a weird hunched over position. 😴

The minute we got home and Cam wanted to nap, I put his Owlet on him and laid him down. I was able to nap too without any worry. The Owlet gives me peace of mind. It’s like a second set of eyes on him except with detailed monitoring of his heart rate and oxygen levels.❤️

I would literally be a wreck without our Owlet. Thank you to whoever created it! My sanity and need to sleep thank you!! 🙏🏻

I’ve got PUPPP…..

Guess who got PUPPP again! 😩 With Ryder it didn’t kick in till 2 weeks after I gave birth. With Camden it hit me the second day after birth. I’ve forgotten how miserable PUPPP is. Sooooo itchy and hot!

If you’re unfamiliar with PUPPP (Pruritic Urticated Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy), don’t worry you aren’t missing anything exciting. PUPPP only occurs in about 1% of pregnant or post pregnancy women. It is an extremely itchy, non contagious, red, bumpy rash that shows up on the belly and sometimes down the legs, butt and on arms.

PUPPP is most common in women in their 3rd trimester. But if you’re one of those rare special people like me, it’s possible to get it after delivery. They are still unsure what causes PUPPP. There are a few theories that it’s maybe genetic.

I’ve tried everything to get rid of mine or at least just relieve the itching. Oatmeal and baking soda compresses didn’t work (can’t take a bath just yet since I just gave birth). Hydrocortisone helped for a second but it felt like it moisturized more than relieving the itch. The only thing that gave me actual relief was pine tar soap. It doesn’t have the best smell so beware if you try it. It’s got a strong outdoorsy smell. But it helped with the itching and eventually got rid of the rash the first time after about a little over a week of use.

Im not thrilled I have to go through the process of dealing with PUPPP again. But at least I know what to expect this time around! 🙏🏻

Baby Update

Baby update: The boys and I are slowly adjusting to life together. It’s definitely been an uphill battle. Routines have changed and the vibe in the house is very different. Even the dog is thrown off. 😂 But it’s a good different. Literally each day has a new challenge to work around and learn from. 👍🏻

Trying to get Cam and Ryder up and taken care of each morning definitely isn’t without its battles. They are both in a demanding stage and need so much of my attention. Also, a clean house isn’t the easiest task now. So I do my best just to make sure things don’t pile up. Showering is done if I’m lucky. I have to beg someone to watch the boys just to be able to rinse off. God only knows when I’ll be able to find the time to wash my hair again. Dreadlocks may be in my future! 😂

By no means am I complaining. I love the new changes in our life. And despite Ryder’s annoyed faces he gives Cam, I think he will settle in soon and realize Cam isn’t a threat. If my over possessive dog can be ok with Cam I know Ryder will be too (eventually). 🐶

When people ask what I need, my only request is positivity. I just need everyone to be positive and happy around me. If others around me are happy and positive, it helps keep my energy levels and positivity up. I focus more on the good and less on the things upsetting me or stressing me out. And trust me, with 2 little ones under two, the feeling of stress and being overwhelmed comes quick!