Mom Guilt

I had no idea what I was in for when I brought Cam home from the hospital. I knew it would be different but I didn’t realize HOW different.

The first week we brought Cam home, I cried multiple times. Not from depression or anything like that. Mainly due to feeling overwhelmed and as if I was letting Ryder down.

Ryder had been so used to having 100% of my attention all the time. When Cam came home that changed and he got maybe 30% of my attention. The rest was spent feeding Cam, changing him, etc. It was really hard on Ryder, which made it hard on me. I felt so guilty I couldn’t give either boy 100% of my attention. And it’s not easy to get a toddler to understand WHY they are no longer getting all of your attention. I had a significant amount of mom guilt.

I’ve been working hard to find ways to make more time for Ryder. While Cam naps I give Ryder my full attention. My house is completely neglected and doesn’t look like it’s clean self, but I don’t care. Ryder needs me as much as he can get during this new change.

I’ve also made Ryder my little “helper.” I ask him to help me do things for Cam. Like hand me a diaper, close the wipe warmer, put away a toy, sit with us, etc. He’s proud of himself when he’s able to help out. I can see a significant change in him from day 1 to now. He doesn’t side eye his brother anymore. Lol He actually goes over to him and looks at him. Sometimes he points at things like his foot or hand and says “what’s this?” It’s progress!

I knew it would be hard, but I guess I wasn’t prepared for how hard it would be mentally and on my heart. I was just prepared for the physical aspect. This has been an eye opening experience. However, I don’t regret a minute of it. No matter how difficult, these boys are my world. 🌎

I’ve got PUPPP…..

Guess who got PUPPP again! 😩 With Ryder it didn’t kick in till 2 weeks after I gave birth. With Camden it hit me the second day after birth. I’ve forgotten how miserable PUPPP is. Sooooo itchy and hot!

If you’re unfamiliar with PUPPP (Pruritic Urticated Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy), don’t worry you aren’t missing anything exciting. PUPPP only occurs in about 1% of pregnant or post pregnancy women. It is an extremely itchy, non contagious, red, bumpy rash that shows up on the belly and sometimes down the legs, butt and on arms.

PUPPP is most common in women in their 3rd trimester. But if you’re one of those rare special people like me, it’s possible to get it after delivery. They are still unsure what causes PUPPP. There are a few theories that it’s maybe genetic.

I’ve tried everything to get rid of mine or at least just relieve the itching. Oatmeal and baking soda compresses didn’t work (can’t take a bath just yet since I just gave birth). Hydrocortisone helped for a second but it felt like it moisturized more than relieving the itch. The only thing that gave me actual relief was pine tar soap. It doesn’t have the best smell so beware if you try it. It’s got a strong outdoorsy smell. But it helped with the itching and eventually got rid of the rash the first time after about a little over a week of use.

Im not thrilled I have to go through the process of dealing with PUPPP again. But at least I know what to expect this time around! 🙏🏻

Baby Update

Baby update: The boys and I are slowly adjusting to life together. It’s definitely been an uphill battle. Routines have changed and the vibe in the house is very different. Even the dog is thrown off. 😂 But it’s a good different. Literally each day has a new challenge to work around and learn from. 👍🏻

Trying to get Cam and Ryder up and taken care of each morning definitely isn’t without its battles. They are both in a demanding stage and need so much of my attention. Also, a clean house isn’t the easiest task now. So I do my best just to make sure things don’t pile up. Showering is done if I’m lucky. I have to beg someone to watch the boys just to be able to rinse off. God only knows when I’ll be able to find the time to wash my hair again. Dreadlocks may be in my future! 😂

By no means am I complaining. I love the new changes in our life. And despite Ryder’s annoyed faces he gives Cam, I think he will settle in soon and realize Cam isn’t a threat. If my over possessive dog can be ok with Cam I know Ryder will be too (eventually). 🐶

When people ask what I need, my only request is positivity. I just need everyone to be positive and happy around me. If others around me are happy and positive, it helps keep my energy levels and positivity up. I focus more on the good and less on the things upsetting me or stressing me out. And trust me, with 2 little ones under two, the feeling of stress and being overwhelmed comes quick!

Getting your body back

I think it’s funny when I hear someone say “You’re going to have to work harder to get your body back after this second baby.” It makes me laugh every time I hear it. Is my body going somewhere? Did it get lost? 😂

Having a baby doesn’t mean you LOSE your body. Yes your body changes but it’s still there! People keep telling me it’s harder to get back to your old shape after baby number two. Is it really? Or is that just an excuse we use?

I actually liked my body better after I had Ryder. It took me some time to lose the extra baby weight but I like to think I bounced back pretty well. I wasn’t one of those IG moms who got back to pre baby size in 5 months. It took me a full year. But I did it and I was beyond proud of myself and loved how I looked. No I don’t have my 20 year old body. I probably never will and I’m ok with that. But this 33 year old body is pretty resilient and it’s been good to me.

I think this time around I’m going to enjoy myself (and food). I was so paranoid while pregnant with ryder, that I wouldn’t get back to my original size. I put so much stress on myself mentally, that I don’t think it was very healthy. Now I know I can get back to a good size with a bit of hard work. So I’m not going to stress this time. I don’t plan to go overboard and eat everything in sight and skip workouts! But I will treat myself if I want! And if my body is too drained to workout, rather than force myself to go to the gym, I’ll rest. I can try again the next day. Everything in moderation and at my own pace.💙

Leg day ideas

Leg day! My favorite day! I’ve changed up my leg workouts again. I’ve said it before, I always change my workouts every 6 weeks. This keeps my body from getting “used” to a workout and it keeps me from feeling like I’m on repeat. These exercises aren’t too difficult and you can do them at home or in the gym. The first two actually workout your upper body and lower body together!

✴️ Side squats with medicine ball

✴️ Sumo squats with kettle bell raise

✴️ Squat turns

I try to do each one 10-12 times. Depending on the medicine ball I use for side squats, sometimes I can only manage 8-10 with the extra weight.

Happy squatting! 💪🏻

That scary word…..”Fat”

I’m sure people are going to think I’m ridiculous for saying this, but I wish we could rename fats, from food, something else. Yeah yeah I know it sounds stupid. But a good majority of the general public sees that word and freaks out. I think it’s due to the word association with the word body fat. We define fat (from the body) as connective tissue that stores cellular fat. Or….the yellow blob stuff that we see in pictures in ads and learned about in heath class.

Body fat is not the same as food fat. Will fats from food make you fat? Yes and no. It’s all about portioning and eating the correct fats. If you eat a proper amount of fats, you can make it work to your advantage. With that being said, I’m referring to fats from avocado, olive oil, eggs, etc. NOT fats from things like Doritos, pastries, sugary drinks, etc. Should you completely avoid the “bad fats” all together? Some would argue yes. I say no. That’s what cheat meals are for! I don’t recommend consuming them every day but on occasion is fine! If you can completely avoid them all together, more power to you! I however want a greasy burger and pizza every so often. 😉

Fats are a good thing! Let’s stop being so scared of them! Use them as fuel for your body and don’t feel bad about consuming them, when they’re the good kind. Eat your avocados every day, and eat those eggs! They are fantastic for your body. Just make sure to portion things out properly! Figure out how much fat is recommended for your body per day. Once you understand the fat amounts in each food, you can portion things visually and it becomes really easy! Let’s get back to enjoying foods (especially ones with FAT) and not being scared of them! 🍴💪🏻

Lunge Variations

I love lunges! They are easy to do at the gym or at home if you’re limited on workout equipment. There are so many different lunge variations too! I rotate these 6 into my leg workouts at different times. There are more variations of lunges and even squat variations that you can mix in. But these are the 6 I’m featuring today. They’re easy and they get your butt, legs and abs working!

1️⃣ Side (lateral) lunges

2️⃣ Crossover lunges (there are so many names for this one)

3️⃣ Reverse lunges

4️⃣ Walking lunges

5️⃣ Tic tocs

6️⃣ Front lunges

Happy lunging! 😂💪🏻