Independence

Did you know that as a child becomes more independent, sometimes a mother will non-consciously look for issues to feel more needed?

Mind you, this does not happen to every mother. But it is a very common thing to have happen. It’s understandable that it does. It’s human nature to like to feel needed and wanted. Especially when you’ve had someone like a child, who was so dependent on you for so long, go from heavy dependence to independence. I can understand how it’s a hard switch for the parent.

Sadly this is something that doesn’t just happen once. It’s something that happens often over a child’s life. A baby goes from needing to be carried everywhere, to learning to crawl and eventually walk. Toddlers move into a stage where they start to learn how to do things on their own, so they want to do EVERYTHING on their own. And this need for independence continues through the tween, teen and early adult years.

I can understand why being a mom is hard now. Going from being needed, to not being needed as much or at all is a hard transition. It definitely can take a toll on you emotionally! 🙁

Christmas with kids

I thought Christmas was exciting as a child, but no one told me how much fun it is when you have a child. Seeing the excitement of the holidays on their face just melts your heart!

My oldest is obsessed with Christmas lights. He gets SO excited when he sees them. He loves to look out the window every night at the neighbors lights. You’d think they put up different lights each night by how excited he gets to see them each time. But no, it’s the same lights every night. It’s so cute!

He isn’t 100% sure about Santa but he knows he’s associated with Christmas and points to him anytime he sees something with Santa on it.

My kids are still young so they don’t exactly associate gifts with Christmas. Which is super humbling because here they are getting excited about the lights, decorations, etc, vs the size of the presents or how many there are. Everything with them is so innocent and sweet right now. It makes you just want to freeze time and stay here in this moment forever! ❤️

Toddler Struggles

The start to yesterday’s temper tantrum was thanks to Ryders fingers……

His fingers couldn’t reach to the bottom of the raisin box to get the last few raisins to eat. This is where the tantrum began. It caused a full body drop to the floor, followed by rolling. It almost looked like he was practicing the “stop, drop and roll” we learned in elementary school for when we ever caught on fire. So naturally the visual and memory of that just made me laugh. Well, if you’ve ever laughed at a mad toddler, you know it’s a BAD idea. This made the tantrum even worse, and louder. He decided to throw the raisin box at me because I laughed at him. The box hit me causing the stuck raisins to break free and fly all over the floor. The dog came running into the kitchen because she thought something was wrong with him thanks to all the noise he was making. She saw all the raisins on the floor and began to eat them. So of course this caused the tantrum to continue further, because now his raisins are gone.

Mind you this went on for a good 10-15 minutes

Lesson learned for mom: put raisins in a bowl and never laugh at a mad toddler 🤦🏼‍♀️

What others see….

A friend of mine posted a quote the other day that got me thinking……”Your body is a reflection of your lifestyle.” 🤔

If someone I didn’t know was asked what kind of lifestyle I had based off how I looked, what would they guess? Would they guess a tired mom of a 4 month old and 2 year old? Or would they guess a hard partier because I look so tired? Lol

I’m not much of a makeup wearer, unless I’m going to an event or dinner. I’ve always hated the feel of makeup on my face so I rarely wear it. Most days I wear just mascara and lip gloss or chapstick. I only wear mascara because I feel like it opens up my eyes a little and makes me look less tired. Otherwise I wouldn’t normally waste the time putting it on.

Clothing wise, I live in leggings. It’s the most comfortable attire when chasing around a 2 year old. I see these Instagram moms in skinny pants or beautiful flowy dresses hanging out with their kids and I think to myself…..nope. I can’t even wear jeans and be comfortable during the day. I do too much up and down movements, squatting, crawling on my hands and knees, etc. I’m constantly cleaning up or picking up something. Leggings are literally the only clothing item that allows me freedom to move and feel comfortable.

I hope to most I have a “mom look” and not too much of a lazy look going on. I guess I could try a little harder in the mornings to look nice, but does it really matter? Right now my kids don’t care if I dress up for them and they’re pretty much the only people that see me regularly during the day.

I am always curious what someone passing me thinks when they see me. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Maybe it’s best I don’t know….😂

Toddler in the house

There’s nothing scarier than waking up at 4am, and hearing someone in your house going through your things……Only to find out it was your toddler who woke up and decided to have his own private play time. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Seriously though. I’ve never been more scared in my life. My husband was out of town and I was home alone with the kids. My oldest son was sleeping in bed with me because he’s still uneasy about the new baby and feeling like he’s going to get “left.” I thought I’d shut the bedroom door tight in case he did get up and wander. Clearly I didn’t. 🚪

There was a banging coming from the living room. I thought I was hearing things at first so I sat for a minute to really listen. It continued and a sort of crash followed. That’s when I knew someone was out there. Now thinking about it, if I’d been more awake I would have realized the dogs weren’t barking or going crazy. They do that if someone is just walking by the house. AND my child wasn’t in bed next to me anymore. However none of that was going through my mind at the time. The only thing I could think of was what do I do if someone is in the house? I knew I had to get to him before he got to my kids. There’s a bat under the bed so I went and grabbed that. I figured of anything I’d use my old softball skills to clobber him with the bat. 🥎

As I walked into the living room, I noticed toys everywhere. Then I saw the shadow of the intruder looked very small. That’s when it registered. It’s Ryder! The kid was up playing with his toys in the dark! I have no idea how long he was up. I’m typically a pretty light sleeper. But somehow he managed to wiggle out of my arms, get off the bed and go out into the living room all without waking me. 🛏

Just when I thought the toddler stage couldn’t get any more exhausting, mine goes and tries to give me a heart attack! ❤️

Terrible Two’s

The “terrible two’s” have begun. I always wondered why people called it that. I’m learning…..just FYI, kids in their “terrible two’s aren’t bad kids. They haven’t turned bad, weren’t previously bad, etc. They are just at a struggling point. 😩

Around the age of 2 kids are learning how to communicate. They’re stuck in a world where they are learning words, and only know a few at a time. They want to communicate but they don’t know exactly how to get their emotions across with words. Not to mention dealing with their own emotions can be overwhelming enough as it is. It can be incredibly frustrating for a little one so temper tantrums and melt downs are extremely common. 😞

The easiest way to get through the “terrible twos” is to be patient and work with your child. Help them with words, and try to be understanding. Know that the temper tantrums aren’t done to punish or embarrass you. They are just extremely overwhelmed and that’s how they handle it. 👍🏻

It’s extremely frustrating at times but you sort of have to put yourself in your kids shoes. Imagine how frustrating how it can be for them. 💙

Temper tantrums and meltdowns

My child has hit the stage of temper tantrums and meltdowns. It’s his new thing these days. I’d say we have at least one a day right now. Does this mean he is a bad kid or is spoiled? Absolutely not!

Tantrums and meltdowns are symptoms that a child is struggling with emotions they can’t relate to. When a child is overly stimulated this can cause a meltdown. There’s so much going on that it just becomes too much for them. This can be anything like sounds, visuals, feelings, exhaustion, etc.

Currently my child only has a few words in his vocabulary. So he isn’t fully able to vocalize his wants, needs and feelings. That has got to be incredibly frustrating. You kind of can’t blame him for breaking down and losing it some days. 😂

When Ryder has one of his temper tantrums or meltdowns, I just walk away. I give him his space and I busy myself with something else. After about 30 seconds to a minute he stops. He will look around like ok I’m over this, and go find a toy. It’s like he needed to get out an emotional release. Once out, he’s back to his normal self. I know what you’re thinking…..why don’t you hug him and make him feel better. Tried that! He wants no part of it. During a temper tantrum or meltdown he does not want to be touched. Hence why I give him his space.

If you see a child having a meltdown or throwing a tantrum, don’t automatically assume they are a bad kid. They may just be overstimulated or not able to vocalize their needs. It’s all a learning process. They grow out of it eventually (sort of).

The next time you see a parent who’s child is having a melt down, instead of looking at them like they’re a bad parent, try taking pity on them. It’s not easy, or fun when the meltdowns happen. Each parent is just trying to do their best to get through it and help their child learn from it.